Is one too long?

Take two.... What happened to take one? Did it float off in search of ramen noodles and Popsicles?

and again.....

Wow. I totally suck. So yeah I have let months go by since my last post. And I am not any better off. In fact I am about five lbs worse off. Sigh. Wanna hear my new excuses?

1)I moved. again. 2)The kids were out of school for summer. 3)It has been too hot to exercise. 4)I hurt my knee at work, so can't exercise now. 5)I started school again, no time now.

I need motivation! I can't keep going down this road. If I don't stop I am gonna be too fat to leave the house and then I am gonna die here and they are gonna have to get the jaws of life to get me out. Ok maybe that is a tad dramatic.

My high school reunion is in October. I opted not to go. I can't show my fat face in there! I am facebook friends with some of those people, and I intentionally only post pics of my kids or from the neck up. They can't know how fat I truly am.

What is your motivation? Can I borrow some?

Two years...and fifty pounds.

Sigh. Here I am. I could sit and make excuses all day long, none of which can remotely justify how I got here. I just know that I am here. Sitting not so pretty at 235 pounds. I want to cry and drown my sorrows in chocolate. Which is kind of how I ended up here. My life has certainly been topsy turvy over the last two years, a seperation, a reunion, the loss of someone dear, a new career, a couple of moves, and a seemingly forever revolving number on the scales. These would all seem like pretty valid excuses to explain my weight gain, but in all actuality it wasn't until life calmed down that I started to really gain. I am at a fairly content place in my life. After some really rocky times, my husband and I are madly in love, I have a job that I like, with people that I love, and I have some really great kids. I am, however not content with myself. I look in the mirror and I want to scream. I don't like what I see. I don't want to put on make-up, or even get out of my sweats, because no amount of cute clothes or make-up will hide the weight. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out how I let myself get here, but the real question I need to ask myself is how I am going to get away from here. I want to be successful. Truly successful. I want to change the way I see myself. I want to feel beautiful again. I am not setting any crazy weightloss goals this time around. My goal is to take better care of me, to look in the mirror and see me, not the fat girl that ate me, to be able to go out and hold my head up high, to want to show myself to my husband, instead of hiding with the lights out. So how do I do it?

New motivation

I have some new found motivation in my quest for weight loss. I am going to a wedding in May. In Florida. You know florida, beaches and bikinis. Hah! I most certainly won't be slipping into one of those any time soon, or ever. But I would like to not look like a cow in my new dress. (I have yet to shop for one though, I would like to drop a size or two before then) My goal is to be 175 by then. That is 20 lbs in ten weeks. Totally doable. Right?

So I guess I took a break

I didn't really lose or gain anything through the month of October. Just the fact that I managed not to gain with my daughters' bday party and halloween candy is a pretty big deal! I am back on track for November though. I have lost four pounds so far. It feels really good to be back on the right track.

down six pounds this week

My life has been kinda crazy lately, which in all aspect really sucks, except that it is doing wonders for my diet, lol. I am sure that when things calm down my weight loss will slow down, but I will take the big losses where ever I can get them. I am determined now to let the scales turn around though no matter what! Haha