This weeks weigh in

Despite the stresses of this week I managed to do pretty well. I had gained a little the week before, but I managed to lose that plus one additional pound. So I am down to 216, still behind my goal for the month, but I still have a week left so I will just do my best. I am trying not to get too hung up on a schedule or trying to set rigid goals for myself, my main goal is just to try and lose the weight, if it takes me longer than I hoped that is ok just as long as I am still losing.

A bad day.

I have had a very emotional day and when I am sad or upset I eat. I have tried to keep my eating in check, but I haven't done so hot. I am just praying that the week gets better. I will just fall apart if I get anymore bad news. Between my cousin losing their baby, losing a good friend, and just everyday stress I just want to curl up and cry for the next few days.

I did however force myself to go for a walk this morning. I only walked half a mile, but I guess every little bit helps. I just have to keep pushing through the bad days.

5 yrs.

Wow! Five years ago I married the most genuine, caring man I have ever met. In five years time alot of things have changed in our life, but I am still completely head over heels in love with that man! He was always a wonderful person, and then a great husband, but watching him be a daddy is amazing. Seeing his face the first time he held our oldest daughter trying to fight back tears, but still letting one slip out as he stared at this beautiful child we made together. Watching him walk the halls with her at night when she couldn't be consoled, they spent many nights together that way. Laughing as he fumbled with diapers, waiting too long until she peed on him. Seeing the pride in his face the first time she said "dada". Having him holding my hand as I laid on the operating table at the birth of our second daughter. Seeing him bravely look over the curtain as he doctor pulled out our baby girl. Seeing that same tear slip down his cheek when he looked at her. Laughing and crying together over the stress and fun and complete madness of raising four kids. Having him be this amazing pillar of strength as our baby girl went through open heart surgery. He was just as scared as I was, but he held it together while I was falling apart. Looking back on this life we have made brings about every emotion, but most of all just pure HAPPINESS!

So far so good...

After having a really bad weekend, I have done much better this week. I went to the store and got lots of fruits and veggies and healthy snacks. I made a strawberry smoothie for breakfast and it was sooo good.

I am going to try and go a full week without weighing in. I tend to weigh everyday and I think that since I never see a big loss from day to day it makes it seem like I am not making good progress. I think that if I make sure I only weigh in once a week I will see a bigger loss and it will be more of a motivator. That's the plan anyway.

A bad weekend...

I didn't do so good this weekend. My mom, my aunt, and I went out to eat at Chili's and I ate way too much. I then ate a crapload of m&m's later. So yeah the scales were not kind to me this morning. Today is another day and I am just going to get right back on track.

My husband is killing me.

He just brought me home my favorite candy bar in a king size! That is super sweet and I love him for it, but it isn't going to help my diet at all. I have no willpower, but I am going to try and make it stretch for as long as possible.

Tomorrow is the end....

of week one!

I am feeling pretty confident at this point. I had a couple of rocky days, but I did good yesterday and then I went for my walk this morning. I have decided to start timing myself and setting goals for how far I want to walk in a certain period of time. I always do so much better when I start my day out exercising. I want to eat better so that it wasn't in vain. I just feel so much better about myself and more energized. It is awesome!

I did cheat and weigh in a day early and I am down one pound. That was my goal! I would love to lose more and I might if I ever get through a week without having any bad days. I am actually really looking forward to school starting so that I can have a better routine and will be more active. I think this is going to be a great year!

Feeling optimistic! :)

Ok well it is day five

I didn't do so hot yesterday. I had a slice of cherry cheese coffee cake for breakfast, and then subway for lunch, then I had a huge bowl of ice cream with strawberries and chocolate. (It was all down hill from there). It was yummy, but I felt so bad about myself afterwards. I don't know why I let myself eat things that I know are going to make me feel bad later. I have tried and failed dieting so many times and I just don't want to do it again. I have to keep telling myself that one slip is not a failure, because if I let myself believe that I have failed then I will just give up. That is definitely not what I want. So I am just going to move on today. I am going to go to the farmers market to get some fruits and veggies and some delicious salsa today. I am not going to let myself give up because of one bad day.

Day 2

Ok so alot of this post isn't directly diet related, but i need to vent and release a little stress. If I don't I will end up stress eating. This is a huge downfall for me!

So today has just been an ordinary day for me. Just sitting at home hanging out with my kids, nothing terribly eventful (just the normal everyday bickering). Then I got our phone bill for the month, Yeah that wasn't pretty. My mom is on our cell phone plan because well we talk all the time, lol, and having her on the plan saves minutes. Well a few weeks ago she washed her cell, so I have been talking to hr on her home phone. I had been trying to limit our minutes, but I guess we still went over because our bill was like $300. I need to buy her a new phone I guess. I wish that I would have just gone ahead and got her a new one in the first place. It definitely would have saved me some money. We have also had a few unexpected expenses come up in the pas week. So I am completely stressed about money. It sucks so bad! I am starting school next month and I am just hoping that we get lined out before then because I will not be able to focus on my schoolwork if I am stressed out. I know that I am already going to have alot on my plate. I have the housework, bills, kids, and just the everyday stress of life. I have thought about getting a part time job to help out, but I am not sure I could handle any added stress. So I think I am just going to juggle our bills and hope for the best. I will eventually be out of school and making some good money. So if I squint my eyes really hard I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Diet wise today has just been ok, not fabulous by any means though. I am going to walk in the morning and cross my fingers for a better day.

Today is officially day one.

Ok well it is day one for the hundredth time, lol. I actually started ww over a year ago and I lost some and then I gained and then lost and pretty much yo-yo'd for a while before leveling off at an overall ten pound loss. So that is where I am now.

Today I have only had a bottle of water so far. I am planning to go to my mom's to let my kids play with my niece and nephew, so I am going to eat before I go and pack a lunch. I have a notebook and I am going to track everything. I think that has been one of my biggest downfalls in the past, I don't properly keep track of what I am eating and I "forget" when I have eaten something or I guess how many points might be in something that I want to eat and it is usually a low guess. I think I just get lazy with it. So i am going to try really hard to be responsible about what I eat and why. Here is sort of a breakdown that I stole from my friend Annie.

July 1st-218 lbs
My goal for this months is five pounds.

August 1st-213lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

September 1st-208lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

October 1st-203lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

November 1st-198lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

December 1st-193lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

----2009----
January 1st-188lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

February 1st-183lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

March 1st-178lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

April 1st-168lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

May 1st-163lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

June 1st-158lbs
My goal for this month is five pounds.

July 1st-153lbs
My final goal is to be 150 (-three lbs) by my 6 yr wedding anniversary. July 18th.